Do you have a fear? Maybe not so overt, but lurking somewhere over that teenie little corner of your heart? I guess everybody has that 'some' fear. It resurfaces at times when you least expect it to, and often in the most shocking ways.
I don't know when it first happened. I can't even trace back its existence to, and pin-point to a specific event in my life. But I always seemed to have this fear of missing an examination. And it haunts me, many a times.
Last week, I was in Dehradun for my final evaluation of a six month long training. The evaluation constituted of an objective test to begin with, a presentation on a pre-assigned topic, a personal interview and the final conclusion with yet another test.
It went fine with the first test, though I never studied for the objective type questions. The test was more about answering the specifics of geology, geophysics, drilling, etc… in short, all activities related to Exploration and Production of Hydrocarbons. Kids' Stuff, provided you are prepared for it, OR you are a Geologist or Geophysicist, OR if you are smart enough to sit next to a Geologist or Geophysicist. As is always the case in India, the easiest way to subvert the system of meritocracy, is coalition.
The presentation as well as the Personal Interview also went super smooth - few advantages of doing an MBA... that too in a crowd full of Engineers and Geoscientists, I felt like GOD! It was all smooth sailing and nothing could stop me.
Nothing but the final test of course, I had forgotten all about it. Well how tough could the final test be? I have been an engineer, a software professional and an MBA. What fear can one test evoke? I was to find that out soon...
The next day, we had a class. Some of the most intricate and treacherous concepts of petroleum exploration were taught in that, I believe. The instructor was going on very animatedly about the whole business, a rarity of sorts considering this was a very subjective topic, and my experience with all subjective instructors has been very subjective; they all are boring! But his enthusiasm couldn't stop me from doing what I love doing the best during lectures; Sleep.
Suddenly there was a murmur and I realised the lecture had just ended with our task well cut out. We had to read the 4 page handout from the last lecture, and prepare for the final test, which would of-course be subjective.
"Hah, Nailed it!", I thought to myself. There was a day off before the final test, for Dussehra. I could just have a glimpse of the handout and be a little prepared, just so that I'm not caught off guard, you know!
When I read the first paragraph containing the introduction to geology (which we had done earlier but I had not read it), I was so fascinated with the concept that I thought perhaps it would be more prudent to read the earlier notes in more detail so that I can understand it with much clarity. I scurried through the pile of untouched course notes to search that topic, but I couldn't find it. I wanted those notes at any cost now.
I went to my geophysicist friend who was as usual playing Badminton. "Hey Sudhir, do you have the notes of Introduction to Geology? I need it to get started with my preparation for the final test."
"Since when did you start preparing for exams? And that too for the final one... Its not that important. Come yaar, let's play badminton. Who knows when we will get to play next?” he replied.
Though I wanted to get on with the preparation, I saw reason in his statement. 'Who knows when we will get to play next’. I thought what the heck; anyways we have an off day tomorrow. I joined in and played my heart out. 'Who knows when we will get to play next'. By the time we finished playing, it was 9. Dinner time.
"Hey we are planning to go to Mussoorie tomorrow, wanna join in?" asked Shirin at dinner table.
"But what about the test that's scheduled day after?" I said.
"Oh come on! Since when did you start preparing for exams" she said.
For a second, I thought I had a Deja-vu. “Ah well, wouldn’t hurt to go for a trip. I could read the handout in the night and a…”
“Bas bas… you are in now… call the taxi guy and fix it for tomorrow”
The reading in the night just didn’t happen. I got caught up fixing up the cab, and that too didn’t happen. It was like a final trip with friends from the training batch and was it not gonna happen just because we didn’t get a cab? Naah, I certainly won’t let that happen.
The next day I got up early and went to the nearest car showroom to buy a car.
“Buy a car?? Just coz you didn’t get a cab?? How sane is that?”, Sudhir asked
“Well I had been thinking of purchasing a car anyways. What better time than now!” I said
So I went to this car showroom, Volkswagon I believe, and bought a Beetle. A swanky, sexy, steel grey Beetle. I could see envious eyes fixed upon my new car.
The next thing I remember, I was in Mussoorie and having fun, roaming on the mall road, having Bhutta with friends. But something was bothering me. What was it? I just bought my dream car. I was having a perfectly good time with friends at a hill station. What could possibly be troubling me?
And then it suddenly struck me. Today was not Dussehra, today was the day of the final exam. And not only had I not prepared for it, but I was miles away from the place where the exam was going to be.
I got into the car and drove back as fast as possible and reached the exam venue in a flash. I was already half an hour late though. I parked my car in front of a gate which had ‘No Parking’ written in front of it. I thought to myself if it would be safe to leave it here.
Just then, I turned around and found that my car was not where I had parked it. Instead, it was on the other side of the road. “Relax, I’ll park it in a safe place”, Sudhir said. But he wasn’t driving the car. He was controlling my car with a remote control. A Remote control?? And just as he was speaking of safety, he bumped my car into the side walls. I was agonized and pained, I was seething with anger. Here I was, already three quarters of an hour late and this 'stupid' guy just banged my new Beetle, that too using a remote control! Like it’s a toy! I rushed towards the Beetle and saw a massive dent on the side door. An ugly scratch just replaced the beautiful Steel Grey paint. It felt like someone had stomped on my heart and was squeezing it hard, till the very last drop. I just wanted to shout. I just wanted to cry. I didn’t know what to do. I went straight to Sudhir, snatched my keys out of his hand and bellowed at him “How dare you touch my babe, how dare you treat it like it’s just a toy. You have any freakin’ idea how dearly it cost me? On top of that, you didn’t let me study for the exam yesterday and today I’m late just coz of you… Blah Blah” and so my tirade went for another couple of sentences until words stopped coming to me.
Sudhir smiled and took out his mobile and played a song for me… ‘Sexy Chick: David Guetta ft Akon’
What freakin’ time to play a party number. And that was also the ringtone of my phone. The sound kept getting louder and louder and louder…
It was my phone… ‘Mom Calling’.
Shit! Its 9.15, and I’m still in bed and I had to reach office before 10. I was having yet another nightmare of missing an exam…
